


Wish You Were Here

by 3amcowboy



Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Magic, Sleepy Boys, Vague Tarot References, catatonic state, let them rest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-27
Updated: 2019-03-27
Packaged: 2019-12-25 07:00:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18256160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/3amcowboy/pseuds/3amcowboy
Summary: "There are consequences to every deal, Asra."Or, in the three years before Nadia searches for the Apprentice, Asra learns to live in fear of losing everything all over again.





	Wish You Were Here

"Ko? I'm back." Asra called as the tinkle of bells signaled the door's close behind him. "I bought you a new scarf, I thought maybe you'd like one for when it gets colder." His melodic voice sang and reverberated through the silent shop, up the stairs.

 _Too quiet,_  came Faust's soft voice in his mind.  _Will check._  The sky blue snake slithered up the steps gracefully, reaching the upper apartment that Asra and Ko stayed in. He got to work at the counter arranging some of the herbs he'd bought and hummed under his breath. Seconds turned into minutes before he heard a sound other than the light touches of his hands on the dried plants.

_UP._

Faust's voice was never loud but it always amazed Asra how much emotion she could pour into small words. He froze, hands shaking.

"What is it?" He asked upwards, moving quickly from behind the counter and towards the stairs.

_Friend! Hurry!_

Asra could sense the fear in his familiar and raced up the stairs, nearly tripping on the final one.

_Back._

The magician hurried past the bed he shared with Ko and the cards left behind on their table as he pushed open the door to their small water closet.

Ko sat in a bundle of blankets on the closet's rug, his eyes focused on nothing. Faust was coiled around his wrist now and nudging his slack fingers. Asra knelt down in front of him and reached out to cup his cheeks. He leaned into the touch ever so slightly but his face showed no recognition of his friend's presence. Ko's aura barely hung in the air around them, the duet of their magic almost a solo.

_Gone..?_

_"_ I hope not, Faust." Asra's voice scratched against his throat unfamiliar, his tongue heavy as lead. He pulled Ko into his chest and Faust moved up his arm. The younger magician's hair was soft against his cheeks and his body was warm as if nothing was wrong. Just that morning they'd been laughing over tea and levitating Faust in glowing bubbles around the closed shop. He had been so  _alive._  His magic had been so  _strong._  It had been foreign for Asra to teach him magic, to show Ko the spells he had taught Asra himself, but now he was practically teaching himself.

Did he see something that brought back memories? Did Asra leave something too accessible, too close and he was lost again?

Several times before, Ko had gone catatonic from even the most vague mentions of the past. Now, though, he had been doing well. His far away moments had seemed to nearly be a thing of the past.

What had he _done_?

"I'm going to move him, okay?" He whispered against Ko's shoulder to Faust. The snake's head bobbed in response and she wrapped once loosely around his neck. The other magician was small but he was heavier than normal, all limp in Asra's arms.

Ko's plush chair at the table was where he set him down. He would realize, then, what must have trapped him away again.

His spread of the Arcana on the velvet lined table was laid with determination and crackled with a confused energy that could only belong to Ko. After a once over, Asra noticed the scrap of paper that sat nearby. When he traced a finger along the gold-leaf illustration of The Devil reversesd, his friend's usual warmth was nowhere to be found. Instead, an icy cold climbed up his arms like chains and wrapped him in his fear. The paper was covered in Asra's own scrawling words, the other man's name repeated and blurred by his tears from the time Ko was gone.

Had he remembered something about..?

Asra glanced over to the young magician and felt a slight pull in his chest.

_His heart._

What would happen if he..?

His dark eyes looked somewhere between his lap and the floor: never at Asra, not when Ko was like this. How long had he hoped they'd be together like they were now? How much had he been willing to sacrifice to bring Ko back here? When this happened to him, though, Asra wondered if perhaps he'd stolen his friend's final peace, that this would never end. Had he plunged Ko back into a world that could no longer hold him?

Asra turned the chair away so Ko would no longer face the table if he woke. _When_ he woke, he reminded himself. Asra crouched away from the cards and the memories and took Ko's hands in his. As he did, he lifted his head in an attempt to force the man's eyes to see him.

So brown they were nearly black but with a golden tint that reminded him of a smoldering fire, the unresponsive gaze bore into Asra's violets.

_Back soon?_

Faust sounded as if she might be weeping. He glanced to her new position wrapped up Ko's arm. Her head laid across the other magician's collar bone and she flicked her tongue out towards him.

_Lights. To guide. For friend._

Asra tightened his grasp on Ko's hands and shut his eyes. Faust always knew how to comfort him.

Though a part of him knew Ko would likely not see them, he needed tohope. His state could last for hours, if it hadn't already, and he couldn't just watch him wither away inside himself.

Lights danced from his fingertips, all in colors he knew Ko loved, and onto his skin, his hair, his lips where his smile should be. Lights to guide Ko back: back to life, back to their home... back to  _him._ Asra didn't know how much time passed as he willed the lights to float until Faust called out to him and he felt her head gently prodding against the top of his palm.

"You're beautiful... I don't know if I- I've ever told you before." His voice was rough and raw from unuse, but unmistakeably Ko. Sunlight from the new morning peaked from the windows behind him and lit his pale cheeks. The pressure in Asra's chest released in a heavy breath. He surged forward and wrapped Ko in his arms.

"Welcome back," was all Asra could manage to utter against his shoulder and he pulled the other magician as close as he could. His voice broke when he tried to speak again, he felt the prick of tears in his eyes. Ko rested his hands gently on Asra's waist and his hands clasped together at his back.

 _Missed you,_  cried Faust as she rubbed her head against Ko's cheek. A breathy laugh slipped from his lips as he leaned into both Asra and the snake's touches.

"I'm sorry, I—" A whimper came from his throat as Asra pulled back and rested his hands on his friend's shoulders, entangling his fingers in his friend's hair to ground himself.

"Ko, it's not your fault," Asra whispered and pressed their foreheads together. "I'm just, I'm just glad you're back."

"I swear, I'm, I'm getting better, I just, I can't even remember what happened, I—" Ko clawed at his scalp and his voice shook, "I can't be like this forever. I can't keep doing this to you."

 _I'm the one doing this to you,_  Asra thought.

"I don't deserve you taking care of me like this."

"Ko..." Just hearing his voice alone made Asra feel like he was home. Seeing him breathe felt like air in his lungs and his smile was the sun in his sky. "I'm always going to be here, I—I care about you. And you might not remember everything, but I'm not going anywhere. Ever. Unless you ask me to." Ko sniffled and the fondness in his gaze nearly made Asra melt.

"You're far too good to me, Asra." His high voice was still raspy and his eyes watery from exhaustion.

"No, you are to _me_." He cut in with a smile and pulled away from Ko again, resting a hand on his waist. "Let's get you to bed, you need to rest. At least your eyes." Asra chuckled and the other magician nodded in agreement, accepting the help to stand. When Ko reached out for the bed post and pulled himself up, Asra relinquished his grasp. He tumbled sideways onto the mattress and sighed deeply as if his lungs hadn't been filled completely since before his mind had been away.

In quiet moments Asra allowed himself to look at him: he knew he wouldn't be caught and, even if he was, the fog of exhaustion or haze of emotion would likely cancel out any reasons Ko might come up with for why he would.  _You love him,_ came the voice in his mind. Ko fumbled with his sweater, his hands heavy, and snuffed the table's candle with a frown of concentration and a snap. His magic was always at its strongest with the flames.

He was beautiful in the dim morning light; the honey hues of his dark hair showed through and framed his cheeks and eyes. Ko had always been lovely, even when they were children, and Asra had always known. Whether the boy had been covered in soot from a frantic chimney dive, colored by smoke from a mis-performed spell, or drenched in rain after a misadventure in the woods, it didn't matter. Asra had always known his friend was breathtaking.

Even now, after a catatonic spell of Asra's own creation, Ko was amazing: a bright light in a city that so often threatened to snuff out such things. He looked up at him as he swung his legs over the side of the bed and smiled sweetly, though the bags beneath his eyes gave it a heaviness Asra couldn't explain.

"Are you sure you can run the shop alone? I'm sure I could at least clean things up, Asra. I don't remember all that happened, but I know I didn't finish my work—" Asra moved towards him and waved his hands to say  _no._

"You need rest, Ko. I know the toll these- these things can take on you," he smirked sadly and swept his thumb across the other man's cheek softly. "I want you to feel good, not just survive."

_You deserve better than that, Ko._

"Then it's selfish for me to ask you to stay, huh?" The other magician laughed anxiously as he tucked his legs under their soft blankets and slid towards his side of the bed. Asra could feel rest calling him, could feel the weakness in his bones from expending his magic all night.

The shop could wait. It had waited while Ko was gone. It could wait for them today. Asra's smile was soft, as was his voice when he spoke.

"I like it when you're selfish with me."

**Author's Note:**

> My apprentice is named Ko, short for Koray. I have another fic in the works for Julian's pre-game/route but it's with a different apprentice, haha.  
> Let me know if anything needs to be tagged :)  
> Also, sorry if this is hard to follow, I've read and re-read this so many times that I'm just tired of editing it!!


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